Office romance happens in an office environment based on so many factors. Some of these factors include: the position of the individuals involved; the personality of the person, if he or she is popular among his colleagues; how handsome or beautiful the person is; how humorous, accommodating or honey-quoted mouth the person is, especially for the male workers; the nature of the job, if it creates time for people to move around from their office to other offices, among so many other reasons and factors.
A male or female worker, who wants to have his or her way, practicing office romance, must be smart and cautious. This is because office relationships sometimes do boomerang, especially if a male worker is charming and almost all his female colleagues want him as their guy.
Sometimes, office relationship could lead to marriage. It could lead to problems on the other hand.
For instance, if the man involved is incriminated by his female colleague, in case the man is a senior colleague in the office, and wants to force himself on the lady, by a form of threat through text messages or chats or e-mails or phone calls. The lady, who is not interested in the relationship, could inform the authority about her travails. If the authority investigates the case, and discovers the man is guilty, the next thing will be nothing, than to show him the exit door, by sacking him.
This means a man who wants to play office romance should know some of the tricks and tips involved, as well as a female, who wants office relationship.
The above cited example, happened in one of the leading new generation banks in Nigeria in 2014, where a male senior bank officer, wanted to blackmail his junior female colleague, after he had foolishly, sent series of e-mails to the lady, threatening to sack her, if she refuses to date him.
The lady on advice from another colleague of hers, informed the bank branch manager about the e-mails from her superior. It was after investigation, that the male senior bank officer was sacked, after he was found guilty.
A woman lodging herself over her colleague she fell for in the office
Some relationship experts, like Kate Halim in her piece, Office romance made easy, advice those involved in office romance, not to date their superior, no matter what, in order to save their face and their job.
1. Find out if the man has dated any lady before
In an office environment, the possibility that at least a male and a female colleague will have feelings for each other is more than 50%, even if the man or woman is married. There is always a tendency that, either a married male worker will want to date a single female co-worker, or vice versa, or other instances, that could be deduced from the examples given above.
A new female staff in some cases, could like her male superior, who trained her. She could fall for him based on his gentlemanly nature, which she noticed during her training. If she wants to try her luck, and if the man is also showing warm shoulders always towards her, she should be smart enough to find out if the man is available or not, or if the man just wants to add her to the group of girls he dates or flirts around with in the office
2. Know the rules and regulations of your organisation
Every organisation has its own laws, even if the laws do seem not to be extant. Some organisations allow for so much freedom between junior and senior officers. On the other hand, there are many restrictions in some offices. In case you find yourself in either of these two stated work-places, be smart, to know how you play your game, so that you don’t get your fingers burnt at the end of the day.
3. Go to work separately
Immediately you have attached yourself to a person in your office, try as much as possible not to go to work together, or even go home together frequently. You may be shocked; to know some of your colleagues do observe every move you make together with the lady or the guy. Your colleagues will know if something is fishy, when they see both of you go home together and come to the office together often. If you continue doing this for a whole week, or more, the bubble might burst on you.
4. Do not give him or her any special treatment
Co-workers will start reading your body language. Some of your colleagues will watch out for non-verbal signs and symbols, when you discuss with him or her. If you are always ready to help him or her out in an office task, leaving other colleagues to take care of themselves, then you are exposing your anus to the whole world. One of the interesting things about life is that, some people are more interested in your own affairs than their own life. Therefore, watch out!
5. Do not rush when the relationship starts
When you pick your choice among your colleagues to date, take it one step at a time. Do not lord yourself over him or her. Let things work out naturally. When you start the office romance, treat him or her casually, so that your colleagues will not raise an eyebrow.
6. Do not let the relationship take over your duties in the office
Your job is the reason why you are in the office. If anything takes over your work, then you should check yourself. No matter how attracted you are to your colleague, nothing must stand in-between you and your work. If you spend so much time with your office lover during working hours, you may be astonished that you may land in trouble of suspension or face an outright sack. This could happen if your colleagues, who are jealous of the relationship, inform the higher authority, that you always leave your duty post, during working hours.
In an organisation where you are to work from 8am to 5pm every day, with an hour break in-between from 1pm to 2pm, you could use the break period with your office lover, rather than the working hours.
7. Never go for lunch break together frequently
When it is break time, ensure not to go out together with him or her. You can go for lunch break with your other colleagues, so that you won’t stir the hornet’s nest. Two of the important words to know in office relationship are: smartness and cautiousness.
8. Do not stay too long with him or her when having conversation together
There are times when something will bring both of you together in line of duty. Both of you could be asked to jointly do a presentation or do an in-house training for other colleagues.
In case both of you are field journalists, and you are told to go for a field assignment, there is the opportunity of both of you coming together during the assignment. But, do not discuss salient issues, or stay together for too long, whenever a third party shows up and interrupt your discussion, or while both of you are in the office together.
9. Do not mention his or her name when you discuss
You should be smart enough not to show your feelings or blush, whenever you talk about him or her. Just talk about him or her, the way you talk about your colleagues, whom you have no office relationship with. The reason for this is that, there are some of your colleagues, who admire you so much, but they will never show it, or make the mistake of telling you. Therefore, you should behave to everybody in the same manner during discussion. No preferential treatment please.
10. Never fix a meeting at an eatery or a hotel close to your office or to your colleagues’ house
One of the reasons office romance goes with its own risk is because some of your colleagues, are interested in your personal affairs, even outside the work environment. Some of them may want to visit you or go out with you. If you decline an invitation from a male or a female colleague, who shows interest in you, he or she will want to know, who your soft spot in the office really is, and the rendezvous for both of you. Do not disclose your meeting place, even to your closest pal in the office. Likewise, do not meet at a place, known to your colleagues.
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